☀️ Arselia and Akonia

Everything looks bleak with me, and without me. I signed up for content that's just a source of constant frustration, and I'm forcing myself to go through it. And next to me, I see a more enjoyable game, more fun content, and the main group of players. Heroist and Alex are very busy; the latter is so busy that it doesn't matter if he's just an NPC. Throughout the entire game, there was only one instance where I saw content that made me regret not going to do the Calcite quest (Baldr). I see the game passing me by. I see you having fun. And all I can do is count rem on rem. Quests are done not because they're fun, but because money is needed. I don't have the energy for much, and it often boils down to gray text. There are all sorts of sand traps and ambushes. A lot of unnecessary inventory and financial management. And time passes much faster for me than for you. And you have conversations with Nariya. Warm social interaction. All sorts of fun Eugenies. Tons of unique content, instead of... uh... a couple of decent shops and two arenas where you can die. I have the feeling that even if I survive and return, Margela will be gone, or half of the NPCs will be dead, and the quests will be inactive. And in a week, I'll have to sail somewhere again. I want to survive in Alaria. I want to reach Margela. But I don't even have the energy to write RP posts. I'm not playing because I'm having fun; I'm forcing myself. I don't want to lose my character. I want to finally get to the content that's fun for me. Not endless math with dice rolls and paranoia about every bush. I don't know, maybe Calcite just isn't for me, but I'm not having fun. My teammates aren't either, considering that one of them has already basically left. There's no interest left in "what's next in Calcite." And I've been on edge for the past few days. I was joking that I want a time machine and a temporal paradox so that all three of us are in Margela and in the same timeline at once. But it's not even a joke, damn it. I really would like something like that. And I suspect that I'll have to mentally recover afterward to get back into a normal gaming groove. Games are supposed to be played for fun, but here... I don't even know. Sorry for the long post. And you, Revan, also apologize for the emotions I've expressed here. I understand that you tried, you did everything, you planned. A lot of effort was put in. It's visible and felt. But for me... I don't know, something isn't working. Sometimes that happens. Right now, I'm kind of hoping that MAYBE I'll get lucky with something super-duper, but I don't know. Every day, I feel like I'm burning out. Sorry, I just needed to vent.