Wise words!

Girls, take note (aphorisms) No, I'm not against it, I just disagree! * * * Compare her character and my bust! Mine is better! * * * Are you here again? How inconsistent you are! * * * Only occasionally do I deviate from my diet... * * * What is this money? It's change!!! * * * Men in a row - and they all miss... * * * He's so quiet that I want to undress... * * * If you loved me as much as you love beer! * * * Just agree already: I'm not stubborn! * * * I'm in my third marriage. My husband is in his last. * * * I love without memory... without memory... who? * * * He replaced the lenses in my glasses with pink ones... * * * ...I'm expensive, especially in clothes. * * * It's easier for men, their mothers-in-law love them... * * * No, he wasn't stuttering before the wedding... * * * I'm not very happy being married, but I'm living... * * * I'll remain faithful to you for a fee... * * * No, you're not just stupid, you're elaborately stupid! * * * Years go by, and I'm still over thirty... * * * You can read in his eyes: seven grades... * * * The obstacles to happiness are you and excess weight. * * * How touching!.. Just not with your hands!.. * * * What a scoundrel: he blushes and doesn't lie! * * * Today's pilaf is without meat. And without rice. * * * I don't look bad, but not often. * * * Everything is behind me: I'll have to turn around! * * * Forget the past, we'll create a new one... * * * I'm struck... Not dead, but on the floor. * * * You're right, I'm smart, but this coat fits me perfectly... * * * How shy he is... it's hard to resist... * * * Truth is not that important to me! * * * Both my mother and the Ministry of Health warned me... * * * He remained silent - and I believed him... * * * Yes, there are many women, but there are even more rivals... * * * ...he literally looks into my mouth. Like a dentist. * * * In your arms, I lose not only my honor... * * * He's beautiful as a god. But he was raised by a she-wolf! * * * Well, if he were just an alcoholic, he'd also be bald... * * * I found a baby in a head of cauliflower... * * * He's silent meaningfully, but asks for something specific! * * * And I feel: he's mine, no matter how unpleasant it is... * * * In bed, he's like a god: he doesn't snore! * * * He has a lot of childishness in him: he doesn't like semolina porridge... * * * I believe that you too can ruin someone's life! * * * ...no matter what, no matter where, no matter with whom... * * * Time heals, but the outcome is always fatal... * * * I'm all sweaty, but I'm holding myself together... * * * Now I don't kiss after the first date... * * * The meaning of life looks different from the kitchen... * * * Fate grinned, baring its teeth... * * * I have nothing to hide, but I wanted to hide it so much... * * * ...well, I cheated... but only once! * * * How many joyless days have I lived!.. * * * No, you didn't brush your teeth in vain yesterday... * * * ...I won't come back, because I didn't leave. * * * Love is needed as much as money: daily. * * * I don't know about self-control, but I'm strong in controlling you... * * * Life is not only beautiful with a credit card... * * * My sadness is bright: it has already faded... * * * Love is gone, all that remains is the rest... * * * My figure is becoming more and more unusual every year... * * * I want to go from middle school to the middle class! * * * He fell asleep without saying goodbye... I'm getting a divorce! * * * There are few people like me: only me... * * * There is everything in your eyes, except meaning. * * * You didn't offend me all at once, but gradually. * * * Not seeing you. Isn't that happiness? * * * I miss you like I miss stagnation... * * * Covering a decisive "yes" with a timid "no". * * * So, be it: the snow is white and cold. * * * He gave me a vacuum cleaner, he's probably going to get married... * * * I don't build castles in the air, only eyes. * * * He's my lover, even though he's my husband on paper. * * * He's a bachelor, he has no other virtues. * * * He knows how to love, but he's also a candidate for marriage. * * * He smiled sincerely, cynically. * * * I demand it now, but not immediately! * * * I'm not waiting for a romance from you. Just a proposal. * * * Try the soup, don't be afraid, there are medicines in it! * * * It's time to make up, tomorrow is payday... * * * Tomorrow I have a tantrum and shopping.

Added 1 minute ago
Of course, I didn't come up with the aphorisms myself :) I took them from one website:cool: