Dreams.

It all started with a dream about an expedition, with a forum, usernames, posts, and everything else. Unfortunately, I don't remember anything from that dream, but we can pretend it's somehow connected to the next one. I dreamed that I was in some kind of castle with two companions who didn't have real-life counterparts, but again, we can pretend they were some of the forum users. There was a feeling, as always, that it was all just a game, that I was in a computer game, but at the same time, everything was happening as if it were real. We talked to local NPCs and tried to get some information from them. The problem was that I couldn't remember our in-game names, so I tried to address my companions either by their nicknames or by the names of their classes. I think I said something like "Ranger." At first, my companions corrected me, but in the end, they gave up, and we told the NPCs that these were the nicknames we used among ourselves. When the NPCs left and we were alone, the one of us who seemed to be the leader said that we needed a special pass to move around the castle without any problems. Immediately, some background information loaded into my brain: we were guests in the castle, we were restricted in our movements, and we could only move around a small part of it. The pass could be obtained from the local queen, princess, or duchess – some important young lady. After the discussion ended, our leader reprimanded me for apologizing too often. I wanted to say "sorry" first out of habit, and then as a joke, but I held back. But I thought to myself that I was actually the mastermind here, and all my excessive shyness and politeness were just a cover to act in the shadows. In the end, we went to the duchess, and in my brain, either a fantasy or an alternative save loaded, where everything went well: the three of us entered in dark robes, hiding our faces. I said in a steel voice that we were representatives of some organization and needed a pass for inspection. The skill check was successful, and the duchess, without any doubt, issued us a document, which we took. But then the same scene started again, but in an unsuccessful version: we brought some unknown girl with us to pretend that she was from the same organization, and the third member of our team was with her, whom I will call "useless" because that's what he was. This girl started to stammer and stumble, jumping from one sentence to another, and when she stopped, the useless one said something like "yes, yes, that's right." The duchess started to laugh heartily, the girl immediately blushed and ran away, and the three of us were left standing there. When the duchess finished laughing, she said very friendly, "Well, that was funny, you really made me laugh, thank you very much." The leader tried to step forward and started to mumble something about "maybe you can help us too...?", but I immediately felt that a more direct approach was needed here, and I was also tired of playing second fiddle, so I took an even bigger step forward and charmingly, but politely, said, "Duchess, I'm glad you enjoyed our little performance! We are always happy to be of service! But we also need something, namely a pass from you to move around the entire castle. Unfortunately, the local servants have completely lost their minds and demand this pass from us at every turn." The duchess slightly raised her eyebrow, and I knew that my game had begun... Hearing my request, she said something like, "I didn't think that such a polite young man would have such problems," and another portion of background information loaded into my head: while my companions were clumsily barging into all the doors and rooms, I, playing the role of an extremely polite person, knocked every time, and once I even had the opportunity to open the door for the duchess so that she could pass through. All of this was perceived by the locals as a sign of excellent upbringing and high manners. Continuing to speak in the same tone, I said, "Yes, you can imagine how much the servants decided to harass our movements, even with my manners, there are problems." The duchess took a piece of paper, wrote something on it, and handed it to me to sign. When she did this, I noticed her very small and thin fingers, and immediately an association with chicken feet arose in my head, but in a good sense. The final piece of background information loaded into my head: during the first meeting with the duchess, the leader tried to kiss her hand, but she pulled it away and hissed, as if to say, "What does he think he's doing?" I gently touched the tips of her fingers, which was perceived as a final confirmation of my noble breed. I decided that I should strike while the iron is hot and earn points with the powerful of this world, so I said with a sigh, "Oh, Duchess, if I could touch your hands again, I could die a happy man." She pulled her fingers away and took out a vial with something that, as I understood, was poison. I quickly corrected myself, "But of course, I would prefer to continue living happily after experiencing the pleasure of feeling your hands..." She put the vial away and extended her fingers to me. I first touched the tips of her fingers again, but then I dared and completely covered them with my hands. For the duchess, this was obviously one of the most intimate contacts with a man in her life, because she literally began to melt and praise how big and warm my hands were. Then, even more skillfully trying to play with my intonations, I tried to portray a bolder lover who couldn't believe his own audacity and asked for permission to kiss her hands. She gave me permission, and I first touched my lips to them once, then again and again. At that moment, the useless one (yes, yes, my companions didn't disappear anywhere, they just moved a little to the side, but continued to watch) said something like, "Well, let's wrap it up, it's time for us to go," and I thought to myself that it was time to drop the mask and growled, "Shut up and don't interfere," after which I continued to kiss the duchess's hand. For me, all this was still partly a game, but the best game is the one you believe in yourself, so I was partly really enjoying the moment. After waiting a little longer, the useless one turned on the local equivalent of a radio, which made us and the duchess terribly frightened because we thought that servants had entered the room, and we were in such an intimate (by local customs) situation. I flew away from the duchess by 2-3 meters and fell to the floor. Although it later became clear that everything was okay, the moment was irrevocably ruined. The three of us ran out of her room, and she slammed the door. From behind the door, I heard her loudly reciting poems, with approximately the following meaning: everywhere there are rumors and gossips, which at the slightest opportunity will begin to say that she not only allowed her hand to be kissed but also celebrated a full-fledged day of the duke. The funniest thing is that since I was still in the game, I heard her go to her bed and fall into it to cry, and the poems continued to play on repeat, just in case I had missed them (and I really did miss them slightly for some reason). After that, we finally had to start our operation to investigate other parts of the castle with the pass we had obtained, and that's when I woke up. It was terribly disappointing because it seemed that the plot would develop very interestingly, but I won't see it anymore :(