Sakuramoria

/Better tell a fairy tale.../

—Well alright, listen. Once there lived an old man and an old woman. They lived poorly in a dilapidated dugout. One day the old man went into the Grove to cut down some kaoris to repair their hut. Then the kaoris spoke to him in a human voice: "do not cut me, old man, I will grant whatever you wish." Well, the old man shrugged and said, "I need nothing, grow in health and bloom for many years to come." The old man returned to the old woman and told her about the miracle. She flew into a rage at him: "you old fool, you should have taken a trough from it, ours is completely broken!" There was nothing to be done; the old man went back into the Grove to the kaoris and prayed: "have mercy, forest spirit, the old woman has scolded me, she needs a new trough." Well, the kaoris answered him: "do not grieve, you shall have a trough." Then its roots parted, and behind them lay a brand-new trough. The old man was glad, picked up the gift, and set off for home. On the way home, the old man met a city merchant. He said to him: "I see you have a fine trough, let us exchange it for my magic beans!" Well, without thinking long, the old man agreed. He returned home and told his old woman about the wonders that had befallen him. She began to scold him even more than before, and she tossed the wretched beans out the window. "Tomorrow you shall go once more to pay your respects to the forest spirit, you old fool!" she said. In the morning, the old man set off on his way again. No sooner had he stepped into the yard than he saw: the beans had grown right up to the sky, so that their peaks were hidden behind the clouds. The old man climbed the stem; he ascended for three days and three nights. He somehow reached a cloud and walked along the path to a huge house. In that house, everything was clean and tidy, and dinner was ready on the table. The old man, naturally exhausted from his journey, barely managed to climb onto a bench and tasted some broth from a bowl as large as his hut. Then he heard footsteps, as if the earth were shaking, and hid in the oven. Soon the giant returned home with a sack of plundered gold, and right from the threshold he shouted: "fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell the spirit of a sakuramorian there, whether dead or alive, he shall be my breakfast!" The giant began to search the house but did not find the old man, and fell asleep. Then the old man quietly crawled out of his hiding place, snatched a dirty pitcher from the sack to please the old woman, and fled. He had barely run a bit when he heard a wild roar behind him; his heart sank into his boots. The old man ran faster than ever, but it seemed he would not reach the stem in time. He saw three little houses on a hill: one straw, second wooden, third stone. Three little pigs waved to him from the windows, saying hide with us. The old man took shelter in the stone house, and the giant was already close. He approached the straw house and roared: "open the door, or I'll huff and puff—and blow your house down!" The pig refused; then the giant huffed and puffed, and blew his house down, and ate the pig. Then he approached the wooden house and roared: "open the door, or I'll huff and puff—and blow your house down!" The pig refused; then the giant huffed and puffed, and blew his house down, and ate the pig. Then he approached the stone house and roared: "open the door, or I'll huff and puff—and blow your house down!" The pig refused; then the giant huffed and puffed, but the shack would not give way. The giant became completely enraged and went home for his club. Meanwhile, the old man reached the stem and began to descend. The ground was already close when he saw: the cursed giant was climbing after him. Well, the old man somehow descended and ran into the hut for an axe, frightening his old woman thoroughly. He chops and chops at the stem but cannot cut it through; he is completely exhausted. And the giant gets closer and closer; his cursing can already be heard from the ground. Then the old man called the old woman for help: they chop and chop, but cannot cut it through. Then the old woman called her granddaughter: they chop and chop, but cannot cut it through. Then the granddaughter called Zhuchka: they chop and chop, but cannot cut it through. Then Zhuchka called the cat: they chop and chop, but cannot cut it through. Then the cat called the mouse: they chop and chop, and they cut the stem. The giant then fell from a height above the clouds and crashed to earth to his death, crushing everyone except the old man and the old woman. The old man and the old woman grieved for a long time. Finally, he remembered the old pitcher and decided to please the old woman somehow. The old woman began to scold him even more than before: "you old fool, of all the treasures you chose some dirty pitcher; now go and scrub it clean!" There was nothing to be done, so the old man went. No sooner had he rubbed the pitcher than thirty-three Refitian knights jumped out as if on command, all dashing beauties, with Uncle Dantemor among them. The knights said to him: "thank you for freeing us from the captivity of the villainous giant; ask for whatever you wish as a reward." The old man thought and said: "I need nothing, brave fellows, except perhaps some advice on how to get along with my old woman, so that I hear her scolding no more and live out my days in peace." Dantemor thought and thought, stepped into the thicket where the sacred kaoris stood, and returned with an enchanted bow. He said to the old man: "shoot an arrow from this bow made of kaoris bark, and wherever it falls, your wish shall be granted." The old man thanked the knights, aimed, and shot high into the sky. The arrow flew far; he had to search for it all the way to the thirtieth kingdom. Finally, the old man found the arrow in a swamp; he saw that a croaking frog was holding his arrow. "Come to me, old man, take your arrow, and take me as your wife!" she said to him. The old man smirked and answered: "where would I go at my age, my old woman is enough for me." The frog answered: "do not grieve, old man, but take me with you; I will be useful." There was nothing to be done, so the old man put the frog in his pocket and headed home. On the way he came across a forest pond; just as the old man was about to drink some water, the frog said: "do not drink, old man, that is sacred water that opens the soul; rather, fill a flask for your old woman." Finally, the old man returned home and recounted everything to the old woman as if it were real. She began to scold him even more than before, but she took a quick sip of the water. And the old man heard: the same old woman's scolding became harder to understand, and instead of it was the bleating of a goat. The old woman turned into a goat, and the old man heard no more scolding, just as Dantemor had promised. The old man grew very sad and drank the remains of the holy water himself. He saw: he had turned into a handsome youth, even finer than the Refitian knights. The croaking frog jumped out of his pocket and said: "I was once a princess, but an evil azure dragon enchanted me; free me and you will receive the promised peace." The "old man" agreed, but how could he overcome a dragon? The frog answered: "dragons are fond of gold; obtain a mountain higher than the highest kaoris, and he will break my spell." It sounded good, but where to get so many precious stones? One day the "old man" heard about a neighboring ruler, that he ruled richer than all the gods and shared with his subjects. Only death did the foreign king fear, and therefore he hid it on a sea island; on that island stands an oak, under the oak a chest is buried, in the chest—a hare, in the hare—a duck, in the duck—an egg, in the egg—a needle, which was his death. Three winters and three summers passed before the "old man" found the wondrous island. He saw a huge oak that could not be felled. Then the croaking frog turned into a bear and tore the oak up by its roots. Under the oak was a cache, in the cache a chest. No sooner had the "old man" opened the chest than a hare leaped out and fled. Then the croaking frog turned into a fox and tore the hare to pieces. Then a duck flew from the hare into the skies. Then the croaking frog turned into a hawk and knocked the spirit out of the duck with one blow. From the duck, an egg fell into the sea depths. Then the croaking frog turned into a pike and found the egg on the seabed. The "old man" broke the egg, and inside was an enchanted needle. He then snapped the needle and threw it into the sea. And immediately the foreign ruler crumbled to dust, and with him his entire prosperous country fell into ruins. The "old man" and the frog returned to the dragon's lair with a mountain of gold, and the accursed beast broke the spell on the frog, turning her into a princess of such beauty as the world had never seen. Then they took each other by the hand and headed for the thirtieth kingdom where her father ruled. They celebrated a wedding in their joy and began to live together. But the "old man"-prince still knew no peace of mind: it meant Dantemor had not fulfilled his promise. The fact was that the king had an elder son. He insulted and humiliated the newly-made relative in every way, laughing at his appearance and village manners. Once this villainous prince was walking along the seashore and saw: a wonder-beast fish-whale appeared from the waters, spat something from its maw, and disappeared again into the depths. The prince approached to examine the curiosity more closely and saw: a broken needle on the shore. He reached for the prize and accidentally pricked himself; he immediately fell into an eternal sleep. For many winters they tried unsuccessfully to wake the heir, but all in vain. The old king grew very sad and soon passed away, so the "old man"-prince became the new ruler. But still there was no peace for him: they lived well enough, but their neighbors were better: they had more gold and a stronger own army. Then the frog-princess said: "invite the priestesses of Zemmormor to you and carry out a banking reform." Said and done. They lived better than best since then; they completely ruined their neighbors and stripped their own inhabitants to the bone. But it was still not enough for the king; his second term of life was coming to an end, yet there was no peace. Then the frog-princess said: "invent a new religion and call yourself a god." Said and done. Since then they worship him as the eternal emperor; ten times a day they pray to his name. It was good, of course, but still he had no peace. Then the neighbors united and ruined the malicious kingdom; the princess was executed, and the old king only barely escaped with his life by some miracle. Years later he reached his old hut, and from there the kaoris grove. "How can this be," he asked, "where is my promised peace?" Dantemor appeared before him and said: "All of this was your peace." The old man clutched his heart and breathed his last. He opened his eyes: it was morning, the hut was as before, and there was his old woman scolding him as usual. The old man groaned and plodded to the Grove. He cut down some kaoris and patched the holes in the hut. "It is truly so; in our world, peace exists only in dreams or with death," he said.