MyDepressionList

I can barely take care of myself, how can I take care of another person?

Everyone has been saying this for the last 10 years, but it's not as rational a thought as it seems.
Firstly, you mostly don't care about yourself, but you won't not care about your own child (or a child you consider your own, like Sifa). On the contrary, its presence will give you the motivation you desperately need to overcome the blues. Right now, you're struggling through life, and by your own admission, you're doing it more out of habit and because this path seems like the path of least resistance, compared to "doing something," even though you realize the irrationality of this thought, simply by considering how much effort you'll spend on life in the long run, versus "doing something."
Secondly, your insecurity about not being a responsible or reliable person may decrease slightly with age, but it's more likely to remain. If a person's hormones fade over time and they gain a bit of weight, they will, of course, feel a little more confident in this world and feel that they can handle a little more than before, but not much, because the worldview doesn't change drastically, and in addition to that, what you've gained with experience is offset by a decrease in vitality and health. Therefore, waiting for a more suitable moment doesn't make much sense.
And finally, thirdly, the sooner you have a child, the sooner they will start to bring you a sense of accomplishment in this life, and the sooner they will grow up and start to provide for you. Take an example from the poorer segments of the population, especially in poor countries – they have ten children, even without a basic level of income, and they don't even worry about it. Yes, the child grows up in a disadvantaged situation, but in principle, who promised that life would be easy? Only a few percent of people around the world are lucky with their starting conditions, and that's it. Let them be glad that they were brought into this world, being doomed, of course, to suffering, but in addition to that, they also get their chance at biological existence, which they would not have had otherwise, and which will eventually end anyway, even if it is unbearable, but in the meantime, let them enjoy at least some experience.