Overall, everyone is equally to blame for the situation: both the host who came up with a "fun" quest to troll the players, and the players who reacted to it in a completely insane way. At the same time, half of the players started actively pushing for a peaceful option (including me), while the other half pushed for an aggressive one, without discussing anything with each other, thereby ruining the entire role-playing experience.
The only reasonable way out of this situation would be for everyone to acknowledge their share of the blame and, through a joint decision, remove this event from the game, or at least return it to the starting point so that it can be resolved fairly. But since this requires being able to set aside one's own "principles" and compromise with other opinions, a peaceful solution is naturally out of the question.
Only conflicting options remain, in which either the majority or everyone will be dissatisfied. Whether it's a quest failure or a wipe, it doesn't really matter. For me, the most important thing in expeditions is the atmosphere, and without it, I don't see any point in participating in this event on either of the two (three) sides.
So, ask yourself how you would like to resolve this situation, and as a player, I can still control my own actions and don't want to get involved in this mess.