Dreams.

I dreamt that I was a fat guy in armor who, fleeing the hardships of the outside world, climbed into a vampire's castle and wanted to quietly settle there and wait it out, but she burned him, decided to have some fun, and play some kind of stupid verbal-logical game, the kind that all sorts of long-lived fantasy lunatics like to play, driven mad by idleness in their chambers, and he lost. As a result, he had to run away, diving into a moat, and a shark ate him there.