Драккошка
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I'll write it here.
For a very long time, I've been carrying a tail of completely shattered psyche, self-hatred, vulnerability, zero self-esteem, egocentricity, and other problems. Many factors are mixed into this process — let's not kid ourselves, among them was HeroesWorld with its mafia games, the politics thread, the peculiar manner of communication of some people (I don't hold it against them and I'm not angry at them for it, but it was slowly eating away at my nerves regardless of my attitude), some fairly strong disagreements, and other nonsense. As I mentioned, the last straw was outright harassment and insults about a year ago from one of the participants whom I sincerely considered a friend; I only recently digested that situation, realized it, and drew conclusions, but I still haven't let it go, and the consequences are making themselves known and may continue to do so for a very long time. Right now, there are a couple of factors that have a beneficial effect on my mental state; if I'm lucky, there may be more of them in the future, and I'll manage to crawl out of this. As I once wrote here, not much connects me to HeroesWorld now — our interests and priorities are too different; however, I also can't completely abandon the forum where I've spent more than ten years and whose inhabitants I've almost become one with. It hurts me to come here, but tearing this place out of my life hurts even more. Nevertheless, my problems, including excessive vulnerability, haven't gone away, and what for many people is just an ordinary joke, a neutral remark, or a friendly tease can wound me very deeply, right to the heart — I'm aware of this much more acutely now than ever before, and I'm not afraid to admit it, even though the situation has improved compared to what it was several years ago. On top of that, my spiritual connection with the HeroesWorld community has weakened, and I can no longer always perceive something as a friendly comment.
I'm writing this simply for information — so you understand why I behave the way I do, why I'm still here even though I'm clearly uncomfortable. I don't know what will become of me next, how I will behave, or what I will do. I apologize if my cockroaches cause anyone discomfort, but I can't promise anything — the psyche is a complicated thing; I don't have a button in my head that says "don't be sad or angry, what's wrong with you, life is good." Just know that despite my hang-ups, you are an integral part of my life, and whether that's good or bad — I haven't fully figured out myself.
For a very long time, I've been carrying a tail of completely shattered psyche, self-hatred, vulnerability, zero self-esteem, egocentricity, and other problems. Many factors are mixed into this process — let's not kid ourselves, among them was HeroesWorld with its mafia games, the politics thread, the peculiar manner of communication of some people (I don't hold it against them and I'm not angry at them for it, but it was slowly eating away at my nerves regardless of my attitude), some fairly strong disagreements, and other nonsense. As I mentioned, the last straw was outright harassment and insults about a year ago from one of the participants whom I sincerely considered a friend; I only recently digested that situation, realized it, and drew conclusions, but I still haven't let it go, and the consequences are making themselves known and may continue to do so for a very long time. Right now, there are a couple of factors that have a beneficial effect on my mental state; if I'm lucky, there may be more of them in the future, and I'll manage to crawl out of this. As I once wrote here, not much connects me to HeroesWorld now — our interests and priorities are too different; however, I also can't completely abandon the forum where I've spent more than ten years and whose inhabitants I've almost become one with. It hurts me to come here, but tearing this place out of my life hurts even more. Nevertheless, my problems, including excessive vulnerability, haven't gone away, and what for many people is just an ordinary joke, a neutral remark, or a friendly tease can wound me very deeply, right to the heart — I'm aware of this much more acutely now than ever before, and I'm not afraid to admit it, even though the situation has improved compared to what it was several years ago. On top of that, my spiritual connection with the HeroesWorld community has weakened, and I can no longer always perceive something as a friendly comment.
I'm writing this simply for information — so you understand why I behave the way I do, why I'm still here even though I'm clearly uncomfortable. I don't know what will become of me next, how I will behave, or what I will do. I apologize if my cockroaches cause anyone discomfort, but I can't promise anything — the psyche is a complicated thing; I don't have a button in my head that says "don't be sad or angry, what's wrong with you, life is good." Just know that despite my hang-ups, you are an integral part of my life, and whether that's good or bad — I haven't fully figured out myself.
А, вот почему.
🏹🎪+⛓️♿=💕
🏹🎪+⛓️♿=💕