Ple-Sen
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Linnea had always dreamed of one day visiting Darkia—she was interested in the local customs and culture, she loved stories about the brave warriors of those lands, and the landscapes, as she had heard, were a sight to behold despite the unfriendly climate. But before, the girl could never have imagined that her first visit to this country would most likely be not as a simple tourist or traveler, but as a soldier of the Reimeian army. And certainly not as one tasked with guarding a diplomatic delegation sent to their neighbors. She was to face the Darkians on the field of battle. In Neia's favorite stories, the swordsmen from Darkia were always noble heroes protecting common folk from all sorts of monsters or villains. And now, by all appearances, she and her comrades were those villains. Fate has a very cruel sense of humor.
But, as they say, there is a grain of truth in every joke. No matter how much Linnea wanted to deceive herself or convince herself otherwise, she was certainly no hero. At least, not the kind she wished to be. Yes, one could blame everything on Rinze Reime, who had come to power, but that was pure nonsense—Her Majesty had not forced her to take the oath. Neia had chosen this path herself, fully understanding what would be required of her and that she would not be able to adhere to her ideals. In fact, the Empress, even if not out of kindness, had even given her the opportunity to turn away from this path by transferring her to the academy with the idols. But the girl did not want to live a lie—she was not an idol. And now, to avoid continuing to lie to herself, she had to admit that she was not a hero either, not even close.
Such doubts had tormented the Reimeian for a long time, but her reflections over the last couple of weeks finally put everything in its place. Every more or less serious selfless act of hers had been directed solely toward the well-being of those close to her—she did not consider the price that would have to be paid not only by her, but by someone else. This was clearly evident in the recent situation with Shogo. For no matter how much she condemned these experiments in her thoughts, at the decisive moment, when the syringe was in her hands, for Linnea these were not the fruits of someone's suffering—they were additional years of life for a dear person. Even knowing the whole truth behind the serum, she did not hesitate for a second in making her decision.
When you realize that, with the right motivation, you are ready to do something you had never even thought of before, it significantly changes your perception of things. Now, Neia could not assert with her former confidence that, had she been in the Empress's place, she would not have resorted to at least some of the same methods to achieve the necessary goals. She could still disagree with certain aspects of Her Majesty's policy, but for more personal reasons. And even here, Rinze Reime had clearly demonstrated that she was ready to make concessions in this regard. Not even that—Her Majesty had given her a guarantee of a happy life on very simple terms: absolute loyalty to the crown and a willingness to play by the established rules. If one thinks about it, even one of the happiest events in Neia's life occurred precisely during the Empress's reign, and not without the help of instructions from the code. Most likely a simple coincidence, but still.
Reasoning in this vein, the girl found fewer and fewer reasons to be dissatisfied with Rinze Reime's leadership, although, it would seem, she was heading to a war that was a direct consequence of the latter's foreign policy. But, again, no one had forced Linnea to take the oath. Even more so, weighing all the "pros" and "cons," the Reimeian gradually realized that her willingness to follow Her Majesty's decrees was only strengthening. And this was not the blind loyalty of fanatics from the Empress's fan club, who derived genuine pleasure from the mere possibility of hearing Rinze Reime's voice. This was a fully conscious decision of a person who knew about the not-so-seemly things the ruler of the Reimeian Empire committed. To some extent, in the girl's own opinion, such loyalty was worth more.
But, as they say, there is a grain of truth in every joke. No matter how much Linnea wanted to deceive herself or convince herself otherwise, she was certainly no hero. At least, not the kind she wished to be. Yes, one could blame everything on Rinze Reime, who had come to power, but that was pure nonsense—Her Majesty had not forced her to take the oath. Neia had chosen this path herself, fully understanding what would be required of her and that she would not be able to adhere to her ideals. In fact, the Empress, even if not out of kindness, had even given her the opportunity to turn away from this path by transferring her to the academy with the idols. But the girl did not want to live a lie—she was not an idol. And now, to avoid continuing to lie to herself, she had to admit that she was not a hero either, not even close.
Such doubts had tormented the Reimeian for a long time, but her reflections over the last couple of weeks finally put everything in its place. Every more or less serious selfless act of hers had been directed solely toward the well-being of those close to her—she did not consider the price that would have to be paid not only by her, but by someone else. This was clearly evident in the recent situation with Shogo. For no matter how much she condemned these experiments in her thoughts, at the decisive moment, when the syringe was in her hands, for Linnea these were not the fruits of someone's suffering—they were additional years of life for a dear person. Even knowing the whole truth behind the serum, she did not hesitate for a second in making her decision.
When you realize that, with the right motivation, you are ready to do something you had never even thought of before, it significantly changes your perception of things. Now, Neia could not assert with her former confidence that, had she been in the Empress's place, she would not have resorted to at least some of the same methods to achieve the necessary goals. She could still disagree with certain aspects of Her Majesty's policy, but for more personal reasons. And even here, Rinze Reime had clearly demonstrated that she was ready to make concessions in this regard. Not even that—Her Majesty had given her a guarantee of a happy life on very simple terms: absolute loyalty to the crown and a willingness to play by the established rules. If one thinks about it, even one of the happiest events in Neia's life occurred precisely during the Empress's reign, and not without the help of instructions from the code. Most likely a simple coincidence, but still.
Reasoning in this vein, the girl found fewer and fewer reasons to be dissatisfied with Rinze Reime's leadership, although, it would seem, she was heading to a war that was a direct consequence of the latter's foreign policy. But, again, no one had forced Linnea to take the oath. Even more so, weighing all the "pros" and "cons," the Reimeian gradually realized that her willingness to follow Her Majesty's decrees was only strengthening. And this was not the blind loyalty of fanatics from the Empress's fan club, who derived genuine pleasure from the mere possibility of hearing Rinze Reime's voice. This was a fully conscious decision of a person who knew about the not-so-seemly things the ruler of the Reimeian Empire committed. To some extent, in the girl's own opinion, such loyalty was worth more.