Discussions, post-mortems, analysis, inflated egos, and all that jazz.

I think it's something within us that signals that there's something unhealthy going on – that's the reference point you're asking about.
And to better understand it and avoid falling into complete subjectivism, three criteria for understanding the truth were devised long ago:
- personal experience
- the opinion of a contemporary who, for good reasons, deserves your trust (a competent person)
- the memory of ancestors recorded in ancient books
Think, compare, and try to figure out what is true.