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Regarding a relaxed experience – well, at least sometimes it needs to be intense, otherwise, what's the point of playing?
I simply don't subconsciously consider any PvE content as "intense," no matter how challenging it may be, while PvP in such games isn't at the same active level as in the games suggested by Revant.
Which ones?
Any of them. Right now, I just typed rts/arpg/mmo into the Google search bar (although the latter is to a lesser extent), and in 50% of the results on the page, I've either played or watched with a positive impression.
Maybe you just haven't given them a proper chance... And in general, if I played most of the time solo instead of in a duo, I would have dropped this genre a long time ago.
I don't know, many of my real-life friends tried to get me into them at one time, I watched streams and videos, but somehow it doesn't even remotely captivate me.