Discussions, post-mortems, analysis, inflated egos, and all that jazz.

At the same time, I don't feel demeaned when I ask someone to pass the salt to me at the dinner table. And my friends don't feel demeaned when they ask me for something.

Imagine that the mechanism for fulfilling your requests is not based on your asking, but because your friends enjoy fulfilling your requests. The request itself may be necessary, but it is not a sufficient condition. They are ready to help you without you asking, if they enjoy doing so.