Dreams.

And then I had a dream. Yesterday, I barely managed to get myself into a stable, non-destructive mindset, avoided some bad thoughts, and then my brain was like: "Oh, you've calmed down, let me fulfill a couple of your desires in a dream; I won't help you with real-life goals, I'd rather just play the game and gain experience." As usual, a stab in the back. At least I managed to stay on track. Maybe I can last at least a week.