Sacred Haven of Debauchery

I don't know, this is the first time I've experienced something like this. And after using this stove for a few days, I realized that you can't cook (properly) on it. Of course, I don't deny that maybe I just got a bad unit, but based on how it works, I don't really believe that.

Added 1 minute ago
Seriously, I woke up exactly at six, spent five minutes doing nothing, drank some water, and went to cook – and it's already 9:09 AM, and I haven't even eaten yet.