Route

There is no salvation. Not in the arms of others, nor anywhere else (although some who have gone completely off the rails find it, but you have to go really far down that path, and it's unlikely to happen to you). It's all an illusion. But that doesn't mean you should stop trying (just not the way you started, it's too radical, what kind of gifts are you expecting right at the beginning? You're delusional) to make your life bearable (yes, bearable, I don't believe in all this "GOOD" and "HAPPY"), the way you would like it to be. So that later you can tell yourself that you did everything you could and you succeeded. And if you didn't succeed, then you can just end it all. If you want.