Route

What happened, Revan?

I'm swamped at work, I was late, my stomach hurts terribly, I only slept a couple of hours, but since I have this opportunity, I'll explain what the matter is (while no one sees what I'm doing, lol).
^ This is funny because it's absolutely true. Well, that is, I started to feel like a character in some kind of forum game. When trying to "develop" a character, people often come up with a sad past for their creations and sometimes even psychological deviations. Just so that the character is a little more unique, or maybe more colorful and interesting. Never mind. The point is that this is exactly how I feel now - my thoughts are chaotic and change throughout the day more often than the weather this year.
Yesterday afternoon, I thought about something and decided: I'm not a playboy, nor am I a business-minded person; by nature, I'm a romantic with a literary inclination. Well, to be honest, I never liked how I express my thoughts and ideas myself, and my artistic writing style seems quite low level (I once talked about this with Heroist - I really like how he, Loken, and Vistrit write - I would like to be able to do the same), but nevertheless, I still believe that I do all this better than an average inhabitant of this planet. Therefore, I wanted to write a letter to someone and attach those earrings to it - use them as a token of my sympathy or as an apology for my rudeness (well, sorry guys, I'm a gentleman). And then I thought, "damn, no one sets my heart on fire the way I want (plus, I was also thinking about trying this out on someone else, which made me disgusted with myself lol), and what about my cherished dream?". In general, on this mental wave, I gave up on this idea. If there is no passion in my soul, there is no point in trying to start anything.
And then I somehow went to another dating site (for some reason, I started to enjoy scrolling through them, I don't know why - maybe it's a habit left over from when I downloaded tons of photos of models and singers; like collecting beautiful shots). Well, and here I stumbled upon some (supposedly?) Chinese woman who had a Russian name (similar to mine, only in the feminine form, haha) but a Chinese surname. Judging by the information, she lives in Shanghai, but came to Russia in June. And then I got overwhelmed. I couldn't fall asleep because of obsessive thoughts, I got up and wrote a long text for several hours (although I had to get up early for work, now I'm sitting exhausted because of this), after registering on this site (I'm not ashamed at all...).
And here comes the main question: how stupid do you have to be? Why stupid?
Well, for example:
- Judging by her activity, the person appeared during the month, not the week or day. That is, it is quite possible (and most likely more probable) that she will not come back here.
- Given China's laws regarding the internet, it may well be that it is impossible to access this site from there, and the person registered when visiting Russia.
- All this just indicates that there was no need to rush to write a message tonight and deprive myself of sleep.
- And most importantly - remembering the first half of the phrase that I highlighted above with quotation marks, we can say that I simply burdened the person with unnecessary information.
There is a high chance that the profile is fake. If not, there is a high chance that the user will no longer visit their page. If they do, there is a high chance that they will simply not be interested. So, why does such a rational young man who loves to analyze constantly do something irrational?
But the worst thing, of course, is not this; worse is the fact that when I wrote this wall of text and sent it across the world, I felt like I had also sent away the last sparks of my fading soul.
I realized that I am a miserable person looking for salvation in other people's arms.

Revan's system of values

Here everything is very simple. These three elements are components of a good life. The latter may either complement them or replace them, depending on the type of personality and the partner chosen by the person. That's how it is.
In my case, the situation is obvious. My body, my mind, and my soul don't understand why, instead of playing Touhou, watching Japanese cartoons, or reading Japanese novels, I go somewhere to do things that bring me nothing but stress so that I can somehow survive the next month. Therefore, they crave love very much. And this, even if we forget about my material insolvency, is not very fair to other people.

It sucks to be a lowlife with a soul craving something sublime.