Route

I got lucky - I survived those years without broken legs or heads smashed against concrete walls, as happened to other kids (the second case is especially interesting: you'd think, why do that? The answer is simple: why not, just for the fun of it, animals love that stuff).

However, there were some creative little beasts. I thought people that psycho only existed in movies.
On the other hand, I've heard amazing stories about sub-human animals in the army. These maniacs have to start somewhere.
Personally, my classmates were just morons, but I can't tell any stories that "amazing." Though no, there were a couple of incidents; for example, I think I already mentioned the "co-co-co" boy who beat a girl in the face with her own metal pencil case.

Here's another interesting point - the teachers (so-called educators, though it would be more appropriate to call them "pidagogs" - like p*fags and gogi from Heroes) started perceiving me as trash. Like, the schoolboy skips classes, does nothing, it's obvious his problem is that he's an idiot.

The girl beaten with the pencil case barely finished 9th grade, and then she completely gave up on studying and ended up with no education at all, because her love for learning was completely beaten out of her. Idk how her life turned out, I only know about some not-so-pleasant fragments of her biography, but I hope everything is fine with her now.

By the way, I didn't like school, my classmates, or the teachers either, and university radically changed my life—there were decent professors, female classmates, and just a bunch of fun moments. I even developed some positive personality traits and partially formed a love for studying.

Let's forget about school and move on to colleges. The first thing I want to mention is the terrible high school diploma that became a stigma for me for the rest of my life (even if I had scored maximum points on all state assessment exams, I still wouldn't have been able to get into a decent university for free)

So thanks to the Unified State Exam system, where nobody looks at the diploma and the main thing is that you simply have one.

and especially going on archaeological expeditions to harvest potatoes in nearby villages

Our historian friend went to process fish in some godforsaken village. He barely got out of there once he realized where they sent him and why (the prospects described to him were absolutely different).

That is, I completely lack faith in my own strength/faith in the possibility that something good will happen to me

Funny enough, this kind of shit is often linked precisely to the school period. Since a "situation of success" wasn't created back then, and mindsets for achieving goals weren't formed. Nobody taught how to overcome obstacles; as a result, the first time they appear, they make you abandon what you started, whether it's studying, work, mastering a new skill, etc.
I can assume your parents didn't interfere much in your affairs back then, didn't provide proper support, didn't try to build a will to win?

NEET Life
It's quite obvious (at least to me) that my only way to keep my sanity and enjoy life was escapism. And while I lived it, I could have been considered a more or less satisfied person, if not for my health.
Anyway, anime, games, etc. — all of this brought me pleasure, including activity on ХВ — it was a rare opportunity for me to engage in some kind of creative activity, something that not only brought me pleasure but could also please someone else.

Funny, but it was exactly on ХВ that you encountered a situation of success. You produce creative contests, interesting short stories, engaging Mafia games and expes (it's a pity I don't participate in them, but I still remember some that I managed to check out). By the way, this is confirmation that in real life you are capable of a lot, there's just no one to give you the support that you can get on ХВ.
Speaking of which, ХВ helped me a lot in real life. First, there was a positive experience interacting with ХВ users, then I managed to use it in real life. Incidentally, here personally I managed to deal with some of my life difficulties. And I think I'm not the only one here.

Suicide
This point is a direct continuation of the first due to the absence of the second. Well, let's put it this way, thoughts about it were there since age 18, and after 20, corresponding plans for the future appeared (lol) — like, NEET while possible, and then rip when there's no money for food or health drops to unacceptable limits.
Now, perhaps, it has become the worst. The only factor keeping me here is the ability to commit this act any day and the impossibility of returning after its execution.

Very many people encounter this point during their lives. Unfortunately, not everyone received the necessary support to abandon its implementation. I sincerely hope that it doesn't come to that for you and instead you go where your dream pulls you and find yourself a cute Asian girl (or not necessarily Asian), who will understand and support you. At the same time, she will inspire you to create creative threads that will help ХВ live forever. Seriously, without you, ХВ will likely fade away, because everyone else is too lazy and not as creative.

City of Evil
The worst (or best) consequence of my arrival here is the return of my old desires and the appearance of new ones. That is, in the absence of the possibility to return to the second point, I began to dream of something else. And that is the cruelest part, because without money, nothing can be fulfilled.
Strangely enough, my general physical well-being improved over these weeks (I attribute this to reviewing my diet and returning to training despite health problems; I don't know how this will turn out in the foreseeable future) unless, of course, we consider the situation with the kidneys and pancreas — before they didn't bother me (only with not-so-good test results). Mental well-being... Very chaotic and predominantly bad.

Regarding training, don't give it up if it helps. It's just better to consult a specialist who will tell you which sports you can do and the permissible load.
For mental well-being, you need a psychotherapist. But practice has shown that for the most part, various philologists or those who got terrible grades and basically didn't study properly work in this field. Decent specialists either sit unemployed, toil outside their specialty, or, in the best case, continue their careers in educational institutions. And it's terribly hard to get to such professionals who can actually help, because there are only a few of them, they have long queues of clients, and also a high price tag.

Self-esteem
Always considered myself objective in this regard.
Well then...
No money
No real estate

No profession

No useful skills

Average appearance

No health
No redeeming qualities
Likes to reflect
Total: a used sub-human who likes to think.
Unfortunately, you can move to another city, another country, maybe another planet, but not away from yourself.
It's good that I don't care about others' opinions or even my own opinion of myself, it's bad that this puts me in an ultimately disadvantageous position when I think about romance.

It sucks without the first two points, I suffer from that too.
A profession can always be acquired, but first you need to clearly determine what kind of activity you are capable of. Also, it's not mandatory to study at a university, maybe you should set the bar lower (not because you're stupid and unteachable, but because for many professions it's not necessary to have higher education).
You have them, but you're using them wrong.
Many people don't even have that kind of appearance. By the way, objectively speaking, a girl's opinion: overcome laziness, take care of yourself (you don't have to be gay for this, although some really overdo it) and you're a handsome guy.
But unfortunately, there's no getting rid of your IRL awkwardness. But there are people who even like that. Introverts are cuties.

Wanna be
Far away from the CIS and, if possible, closer to Asia, preferably Eastern. Due to certain psychological and emotional characteristics that developed in me since around age 15, I grew a very strong love for numerous aspects of Asian culture and the people themselves, while experiencing exceptional dislike for everything Russian and Soviet. This isn't even about objectivity, but about the fact that it has already become an integral part of me.

It often happens that the mentality of a foreign country turns out to be closer than one's own. Nothing unusual, considering what countries we live in. If you are able to play by the rules of Japan, for instance, and not push your homeland's ways where they aren't asked, then it's worth making your dream come true.
True, there are pitfalls; first of all, you need to earn money for this move and for the initial period, and beforehand, via the internet, make acquaintances there who can provide a little help at the start.

Money
This is what would solve most of my problems. I don't want to live better than someone or better than somewhere, I simply want to have the opportunities that they open up for a person. At the same time, I'm not talking about anything fantastic, just quite ordinary things, just not by the standards of the region where I live.
But those who read the first point of this small self-analysis can understand why I don't have them and why they aren't foreseen. In general, if you break down my whine about the randomness of life, the only thing that (I think) I could have changed and didn't — is that I didn't learn something I could earn money from. Everything else is vile fate.

I already mentioned, you just need to decide on a type of activity that suits your heart, then you can gradually save up from earnings.

Future
On one hand, it's good when you're already at rock bottom — there's nowhere further to sink, but on the other — the deeper you are, the harder it becomes to surface. Without beacons, I don't see where to swim.

Bad news: there's always somewhere further to sink (well, generally, my inner specialist says not to remind you of this, but the inner realist always wins).
I can't give good news, and I won't spout nonsense in the vein of "get up! overcome fear!" because that's rubbish. Few people, upon waking up, suddenly understand all their problems, their own mistakes, and start CHANGING everything. Certainly, you need to correctly use the support of close people. It's a different story if this support isn't there, then everything is much harder, because fighting your difficulties alone is always difficult.
If close people IRL don't provide the necessary support, look for it on the internet, i.e., here and anywhere else where it's possible. For example, if you want to move to Japan, you can start scouring various sites, VK groups dedicated to this, and start getting to know Japanese people and compatriots who moved to this wonderful country through correspondence. From them, you can find out all the pitfalls, all the pros, and maybe even get moral support in this endeavor. The main thing is to learn not to be shy about asking for help (and yes, I know it's hard, because there are many psychological barriers inside that aren't easily overcome, but people rarely appear on their own if you remain inactive).

Love
I began to desire this very greedily since I lost my NEET life. Mainly due to an egoistic desire to find new motivation to live. Well, I wrote earlier:

I need a person whom I would put first in my life, above all, for whose sake I would gladly return home after a working day, rather than thinking about which of the numerous ways I should leave this life. For whose sake I would want to strive to become better, whom I would want to care for with exceptional sincerity in my heart and warmth in my soul.

That is, I want to eagerly await some events in my life, for me to feel good and feel that another person is also good, for us to be comfortable together.
In any case, even if we discard (or rather — adjust) my long-held dream, the situation doesn't change much, although it becomes slightly more realistic.
And here is such a funny paradox: in order to make tries in this direction, I need money, and I have none; and if I had them, I wouldn't experience such problems to begin with (I'd probably just keep neeting...).Quite a sweet view of love. I'll comment minimally, as this is far too subjective a thing. I can only say that it's not always possible to realize a dream. And if it is realized, then often, due to idealization, people face disappointment in love and relationships.

Conclusion
Life is too hard

Life is pain.
Some ignore this pain and try to get pleasure, others obsess over it and everything becomes uncool.

Added after 3 minutes
By the way, I lost on bonuses.
By the way, we have a lot of Chinese people in the Far East. There are many of them in the markets. There are many of them in my uni (there's even an elite dormitory only for Chinese and those who pay more money to whoever needs it).
In Vladivostok, it seems there are also many Japanese and Koreans.

Added after 7 minutes
By the way, I've developed a desire to hug Revan, pat him on the head, quietly telling him that everything will be fine.

Added after 3 minutes
By the way, Revan, Tox, do you even know that there is such a wonderful and great thing as career guidance? (I just reached Tox's post now, I'm reading it right now)
Properly conducted testing and interpretation of results are capable of changing a life for the better.