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#1778
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I had a dream that I decided to get married. My relationship with the chosen one wasn't great, but her opinion doesn't matter, does it? However, I seemed like a perfectly decent person to her potential parents, someone they would be happy to give their daughter to. They told me that I had two rivals: the poet Lensky and the bodybuilder Khabensky. The situation was reversed for them – they seemed like rather undesirable types to the parents, while their daughters, on the contrary, liked them.
To solve the problem of competing for the female, I chose an ancient but eternally relevant method – to eliminate my rivals. The first one I encountered was Lensky, a curly-haired young man of about 25. I ran into him, seemingly, at a clinic.
Lensky: – Hey, who are you?
Me: – I'm Alexander Orlov, and who are you?
Lensky: – I'm Lensky.
Me: – Well, that's it for you, Lensky.
I lunged at Lensky with my fists and smeared his brains all over the wall.
While I was turning Lensky's head into a bloody mess, the cunning Khabensky got ahead of us and got married first. I definitely didn't expect such a betrayal (well, he's a bodybuilder, I thought he wouldn't have the brains for it). He also initiated a search for me and sentenced me to death for allegedly harassing someone else's wife.
They were already preparing to execute me on some strange device, the principle of which was that the body was secured above a chasm in a machine, the neck was clamped, and a weight was lowered onto the torso. As a result, the torso and legs would be torn from the head and fall into the chasm. I managed to escape from this device and was about to go look for Khabensky and take revenge, but the dream changed. It's frustrating.
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E si sui vius, er mi grans benananza,
e si ieu muoir, er mi grans deliuriers