Posts from Agent Cooper

I was at the Izvestia-Hall club. It's a spacious place, and the food is definitely good. The alcohol is mediocre, and the cocktails are very bad, really awful.
By the way, I saw a group there called "Papini Sisters" or something like that. Mr. Summer was performed excellently.

I also visited the Forest Tropicana. Overall, it's okay, but 2,300 for 10 hours of Wi-Fi and 2,000 for half an hour of standing scooter rental seemed a bit surprising, as did the 17-inch Rolsen TV, which appears to be from the last century, and the 14 channels on it...

Tired of Staying Silent!
or
Karaoke: The Basics of Basics.

"On Demand"
or
Introduction: Who should keep reading.
I am writing this material for Energizer. And not only. I am writing it for those who, with a sense of own dignity, maintain a solid silence in karaoke. For those who pick up the microphone toward the end of the evening and see that a quarter of the people are trying to hide their suffering, and another quarter—their laughter. For those who would like to sing, but whose song is forced to remain trapped in the cage of a closed mouth.

"Improvisation must be carefully prepared"
or
Preparing for Karaoke.

So, you have been notified that a trip to karaoke is expected in a week. As of today, you have no experience. Well, not "none"—of course there is some, but... Usually, until the amount of grams/degrees exceeds 100, you sit in silence. Well, at most, you sing along quietly, of course without a microphone. When the grams/degrees exceed 150, you might occasionally sing... Generally speaking, there is usually no warm approval...
The main and primary thing in karaoke is the repertoire. This is exactly what we must prepare BEFORE the trip (and not during the singing).
Basic requirements for compositions:
1. You must know the lyrics by heart. Well, almost by heart.
2. Russian language only. When you become an experienced karaoke fighter, you will expand your repertoire; for now, only this way.
3. Excellent knowledge of not only the lyrics but also the melody.
4. The composition should be known to at least 60% of those gathered (excluding the performer). That is, if the company consists of 6 people—with one microphone, three sitting people should nod joyfully (better more). With two microphones in a company of 7 people, besides the two singing, at least three must support the magnificent duet.
5. The repertoire must correspond to the vocal capabilities of the singer. In particular, the range.
6. The composition must not irritate anyone present. Negativity spreads quickly in a tight-knit group. Examples of irritating compositions: songs in an unfamiliar language; "blatnyak" (criminal slang songs); aggressive branches of hard rock; songs whose lyrics contain elements that offend religious and/or national, as well as any other basic values. Well, in general, not every composition by "Leningrad" or "Aria" is suitable for the first trip to karaoke.
7. If you are going to a karaoke club, be prepared for two microphones. For this, you need to choose several duets.

"What and How"
or
"The Book of Tasty and Healthy Songs".

You should prepare your karaoke repertoire in advance. But, of course, you didn't do that. Therefore, we prepare the repertoire over a week.
First, let's determine its volume. Well, actually, it should be as large as possible, but since you are just starting your journey, it should be no less than... No less than what?
Take the time for which the karaoke club is booked. Let's say four hours. Add another hour. We get five. Multiply by 60. Divide by 4. Divide by the number of people in the company. Multiply by 1.5 (since there are two microphones). So, you need 16 songs.
Among them: at least 3 duets with female vocals, 3 with male, and 10 solos.

Now we start selecting compositions. The easiest are duets. The song of the Hare and the Wolf from "Nu, Pogodi!"—"Tell me, Snow Maiden, where have you been"—is an excellent option for a beginner. There is very little male text there. It can even be declaimed rather than sung. Everyone knows the composition.
A more difficult but equally winning option is the duet of the King and Princess from "The Bremen Town Musicians." Here are nuances related to range. Originally, the composition was written for a tenor, so it might be a bit too high for some. In this regard, we will digress slightly and talk about the control panel.
On the karaoke control panel, there are regulators for slowing down/speeding up and raising/lowering the key. Before starting the process, it is essential to find out where these buttons are. While singing, in the first third of the composition, keep the panel close at hand so that you can promptly adjust the key or tempo.
The pop direction also offers successful duets: "Words You Don't Say" (Mazaev-Vetlitskaya), "Duet" (Shevchenko-Alsu), "Two Stars" (Pugacheva-Nikolaev) and many others.
Duets with male voices do not need to be practiced separately. In principle, half of the folk songs can be sung as a duet, but this requires a certain "knack/training." Boris Moiseev gave us immortal examples of male duets, although they have an ambiguous coloring.
The main part of the repertoire consists of compositions that you are ready to sing absolutely independently. First, it's important to understand that these songs must be popular enough to be in a karaoke collection. That is, hoping to perform fifteen songs by "Sektor..." is not an option.
Traditionally, compositions from "The Bremen Town Musicians" are always a hit. Besides the mandatory-to-perform "Song of Friends" ("Nothing in the world is better..."), there are many hits there. You can take 2-3 as notes.
Cheerful songs are always relevant. Like "We aren't stokers, nor carpenters," "Greetings from a Big Hangover," "If only there were a sea of beer," etc.
Songs by "Lyube" can add some brutality. Don't limit yourself to "The Horse"; the repertoire has other hits that are not as difficult to perform.
"Chizh & Co", "DDT" (just don't sing about Ivan Pomidorov), soundtracks from cartoons and movies, folk, military, variety, pop songs... The main thing when selecting a repertoire is to remember the basic principles of its formation that we covered above.
And one more thing: a song performed in karaoke does not necessarily have to be your favorite. It should sound normal and, at the very least, be safe for those around you.

So, the initial selection of the repertoire is done. Now we move to the main part. You must listen to all these compositions. This is mandatory. Not "desirable," not "strongly recommended," but absolutely necessary. Moreover, listen to each composition twice. The first time, focus on the melody and text; the second time, try to sing along. Ideally, you can sing aloud. However, "different situations arise," so sometimes you have to sing in your head. After this, you must clearly tell yourself: I can pull this off or not. If there are doubts—it's better to look for something else.

The result should be a clear list of compositions that you will perform. And this will be another plus, which we will dwell on a bit later.

"No, no, just not this"
or
Typical mistakes for beginners.

Today we will try to formulate and remember a set of taboos for beginners.
1. "Oh, I remembered a great song! Haven't heard it in years!". In 95% of cases, this is followed by 4 minutes of suffering for those around. It turns out the performer remembers only part of the first verse and the chorus, which they sing "with all their feeling" to compensate for stumbles in the verse. Remember: perform only songs you know perfectly, whose lyrics you know by heart (almost by heart).
2. "This one is from Red Hot Chili Peppers, a great piece. I'll sing it for all of you now." No. Have pity on people. Do not sing compositions in foreign languages.
3. "I'll look for something else to sing now." This should not happen. Remember clearly for the rest of your life: the karaoke songbook is NOT a book for reading!!! You need to come with your own repertoire, not read it searching for "what else could I sing." Moreover, a karaoke book that stays with one person longer than the duration of one song is a source of irritation for others.
4. "ONLY!!! A SHOT OF VODKA ON THE TABLE!!!". Be more humane to people. Do not scream into the microphone. It won't make it any better.
5. "I am freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee". Melismatic compositions usually showcase vocal control and a beautiful timbre well. If you don't have a special voice or your control isn't flawless (and this material is written exclusively for those who aren't particularly good at controlling their voice)—it might be worth choosing something else.
6. "I'll sing later." No, you should sing from the very beginning. Start with "Nothing in the world is better"—and everyone will sing along!
7. "Now I'll sing a couple more songs by Shevchuk." No. The principle of rotation—performers (meaning you and your colleagues) and compositions (after Shevchuk, you can sing a song from a movie or some duet) should alternate. "Don't pull the blanket of attention all to yourself."

"The Gentleman's Set"
or
Final Advice.

Knowledge of literature slightly above the school curriculum, the ability to maintain a conversation on several dozen topics, and erudition have always been "marks of quality." Today, this set also includes "basic karaoke knowledge."
Having a couple of dozen songs in your arsenal means you don't have to shudder at the words "I invite you to my anniversary. I decided to celebrate it in karaoke."
Remember, the phrase "I don't sing in karaoke" doesn't sound proud at all, but rather very timid.
For any person, including those lacking vocal data or even a sense of pitch, there is a repertoire of their own. And may "The Glow of Happy Eyes" be with you!

Qwerty, 30.09.2013

Happiness

Alexander Ivanovich was paralyzed after a stroke. A fairly common story, really.
He lay there, but he understood everything. And everyone around him (and by everyone, I mean his Wife) knew that he understood. So, he was paralyzed, but he could still give some signs, for example, by moving his eyes, and sometimes even wiggling his toes a little.
When he saw his Wife, he wanted... well, he wanted his Wife, in a sexual way. However, there seemed to be no prospects, and that made things even worse.
One morning, as he was thinking about IT as usual, his Wife came up to him and... We won't describe how she... uh... got him going. But IT happened! After THAT, Alexander Ivanovich practically started to move. No, of course, he couldn't walk on his own, and he couldn't really talk very well, but one arm and one leg started to move! Life is getting better, we'll fight on!
That same day, before sunset, Alexander Ivanovich died in his bed with a happy smile.

Qwerty, 04/05/2013.It's a pity I didn't read this earlier - maybe I would have acted differently at a certain point in my life...

Are you also paralyzed?

Yesterday, I attended the pre-premiere showing of "Chicago."
Let me say right away – this was my first time experiencing the work.
To be frank, the drama is lacking. There is practically no plot.
As for the musical material, there is a main theme, and much is based on it. Let's just say there are musicals with more interesting music. For example, "Beauty and the Beast." Or even "The Twelve Chairs."
The performance. Yes, the people are working. But from their performance, it's immediately clear that the main principle of casting in musicals remains unchanged: choreographic skills. However, I once attended the pre-premiere showing of "Cats" – it was even worse. But there is hope: usually, by the middle of the second half of the season, they no longer try, and just sing.
But the orchestra was simply magnificent!

I attended a "Picnic" concert at the Estrada Theater. The video projections were surprising. I really enjoyed it.

Yesterday, I attended the strangest corporate event out of the hundreds I've been to. It took place in a huge kitchen-dining room. Everyone was cooking pasta under the guidance of an Italian chef. Sometimes experiments are successful. This one was definitely a success!

"Telekinesis".

Julianne Moore played the mother, and the familiar Ubie from "Peep Show" played Kerry herself. It seems to me that considerable talents were not fully revealed. Besides, the girl is still too beautiful for Kerry...

For those who have seen the first two films, this one may not seem like a masterpiece. Although, maybe it's just that "the grass was greener back then"...
But overall, the film is not bad.
The initial power of the literary material is manifested, among other things, by two nuances: the dualism of the mother's behavior, who, as it turned out, was right in some ways, and the continuation of this in the inscription on the tombstone, which emphasizes the ambiguity of the assessments and the dependence of the picture on the point of view.

I was at The Artist Club. And it made me think about the role of ventilation and air conditioning. Undoubtedly, when organizing any event, from a small gathering of three people to large-scale projects, this aspect needs to be taken into account.

Visited Casta Diva. And it reminded me of a story, whether it was true or not, anyway, about 300 years ago, a budget was allocated for the city's defense. So, they built walls. They built them well. Three walls. There wasn't enough budget for a fourth. The enemy didn't even reach this city... These three walls in Casta Diva now form a magnificent toilet. The cuisine is excellent. First, Margarita Pozoyan sang (quite well), and then Leah, whose last name wasn't mentioned, sang – very well.

There were plenty of tournaments and long journeys,
More than enough, in fact.
There were many gray-haired Don Quixotes
And many obstacles along the way.

There were breakthroughs to mysterious temples
And the silence of sleeping tombs,
But I am alive, as my mother said,
Awakened from a heavy sleep.

1989

Vladimir Orlov has passed away.
In my opinion, he was the best writer in the Russian language over the past half-century.

That's all.

I attended the pre-premiere screening of "The Judge" at Fitil. It was the full version with subtitles. The subtitles themselves are a separate issue – it's not very comfortable to strain your eyes looking at them after a workday. But what's more interesting is, why do we need films that convey sadness and hopelessness? If I knew beforehand, would I have watched it? I certainly wouldn't have...

Quite by chance... although we both understand the illusory nature of this statement, so let's start over.

Without any visible effort on my part, a small book appeared. Small, even I would say. About the size of a paperback, but twice as thin.
In this case, its size determined its fate. Instead of sending the "uninvited guest" to the shelf, I somehow took it with me.
Then again.
Then I got up at four in the morning and finished reading it.

This truly amazing book is called "We Have Always Lived in the Castle," and the author, unknown to me, is Shirley Jackson.

I was at the Main Club (Yotaspace, formerly B1) at a "Black Coffee" concert. Seeing the best is perhaps a way to make the world around us better...