Posts from A small pub near Fludoscarr.

*A gust of wind swept into the establishment along with Lokken, looking grim and battered.*
Hey! Amasec, on the rocks...
I see you're having some fun here...
And I'm back from another cleanup operation.
What a day.
So, the heretics barricaded themselves in the industrial zone, at a factory that produces... well, some kind of junk.
The factory is automated, and there was no staff.
And the cultists, the bastards, surrounded it with barbed wire and set up patrols.
I put on a fake beard and pretended to be an old man with creaky knees.
I'll tell you, it was hard to leave my usual gear; I could only take a bolt pistol, hiding it in the folds of my cloak.
So, I shuffle up to the guards, and they point their weapons at me.
Well, then I blurted out the first thing that came to mind - "Excuse me, is this not the Carrot Juice Center for Natural Health?"
And they replied, "Pass through, brother, Chaos reigns."
Apparently, my idiotic question was the password.
I followed them...
*He took a sip of his drink and paused for a moment.*
Exz, what's wrong with you? Do you have a headache? Here, take this. This pill will help you forget the pain. Yes, yes, it will...
*Exz, with trembling fingers, swallowed the pill and chased it with vodka.*
...because it's an excellent emetic.
*He lazily recoiled from the gnarled hands reaching for his throat.*
You should go to the bathroom; it works quickly...

So, what was I talking about?
Ah! Yes!
So, they led me to the main hall, with an altar in the center. The cultist near the altar, a small, frail man with the gaze of a two-year-old idiot, said, "Well, brother, did you bring the offering?"
"Of course, I brought it, you idiot!" I exclaimed, delivering a quick blow to his groin, knocking the cultist to the floor.
And then...
*The phrase was interrupted by a strange, fat man who sat down next to him and stared intently at the inquisitor.*
What do you want? Who are you, anyway?
...
Who? Vesely Arkady?
And what?
Drugs? No, I don't want any.
A girl? Well... no, not right now.
A boy? Even less.
What the hell kind of lady?! Get out of here, you scoundrel.
Or I'll impale you on a stake for educational purposes.
Huh? No, a wooden one is not fashionable; I'll use a jade one.
What?! With pleasure?!
Damn it!
*Borrowing a shovel from the owner of the bar, he struck a couple of blows to the man's head, causing the fat man to... lose consciousness.*
Clean up the mess, will you?

Okay.
So, basically...
I pulled out my pistol, shouted, "In the name of the Emperor, I send you to the Warp, spawn of Chaos!" and fired.
After a few seconds of pulling the trigger, I realized that the magazine was empty. Damn!
All thanks to Eisenhorn and his jokes... what a colleague...
I grabbed the first thing I saw - what do you think it was? - another censer, only defiled by Heresy...
Too bad I didn't master the technique of fighting with this item at the Schola.
I had to make do with simple blows to the head.
There were many of them, but they were slow...
In the end, they dented my armor and tore my new cloak. Bastards.
What a day :-(
*He sighed and took a long drink from his glass.*

*The monarch emerged from one of the rooms.* -Greetings, Locken, I see you bring joyful news:), let's celebrate with a barrel of ale... but until the owner returns, the amount of alcohol sold will be reduced by half. -This is to avoid new brawls.

Aphids, I'm afraid of you, especially Locken xDDDDDDDD

xDDDDDDD Monarch is already writing his nickname incorrectly ))) hehe

*descended from above via the stairs (the tavern also provides us with lodging), sat down at the table, took out some papers (pen, etc.) and started writing*
- Whoever distracts me will experience the power of the holy shovel! ... I have a lot of work to do...

Yes, I really made a mistake – Monrah :D xDD. *Approached Alucard* -I thought you had already left; we were already planning to share your barrel of ale among us...are you okay with that? P.S. If I don't respond in ICQ, it means I'm playing.

- Tsuky, whoever distracts will experience the power of the holy shovel! .... I have a lot of work to do...

Sounds like an instruction... ;) ))))

if I don't respond on ICQ, it means I'm playing

if I don't respond on ICQ, it means I'm playing))))))

I'm leaving soon, we'll leave tonight so we can be there by eight))))

Aluard, so, are we seeing you off with an elemental? Just to wish you a safe journey, here's a barrel, ready to be opened.
And by the way, can you tell me how many nominations there are in the "Flood Scare" competition? Or will there be as many as it takes until you win at least one :D

Exz crawled out from under the table, wiped his mouth with his sleeve, and muttered something like, "Damn inquisitor, sadist!" He glared at Locken. Then, he looked at Monarch with interest, approached from behind, tapped him on the shoulder, and asked, "Excuse me, could you tell me how to get to the library?" He then knocked him out with chloroform, climbed onto the table, cleared his throat, and said: "Dear fellow drinkers! *Another angry look towards Locken* You are all aware that the owner of our pub leaves a deputy in charge. So, Monarch, due to health reasons, cannot... Oh, you're awake?! *He puts a chloroform-soaked gag in Monarch's mouth* He cannot be the deputy. Therefore, the distribution of alcohol is not limited to twice as much, but completely, because I myself don't have enough. Thank you for your attention!" He climbs down from the table, goes to his corner, and grabs a bottle of beer, which he accidentally spills on Locken.

*after the monarch woke up, he said something, and then several guys approached from the forest (which was near the tavern)*
-Dear visitors, due to the increasing crime rate, my comrades and I will maintain order in our tavern.
And since one of the visitors tried to attack me, I inform you that the amount of alcohol served will be reduced by 6 times. - Did everyone understand?* He looked around and then glared menacingly at the offender.*

Ex thoughtfully looked at the vial of chloroform in his hands, sighed, put it aside, took a bass guitar from under the table, and, holding it by the neck, looked pensively at the Monarch and his friends.

as always, Sever stumbled out, completely drunk, looked at Monarch and Exa, who were staring at each other, and said:
LET'S GO!

LET'S GO!

Gagarin, seriously O_o))))))

So, my latest decree states:
Bartender: Monarch
Bouncer/music: Executioner
Folk storyteller: Locken
Responsible for order inside the tavern: Valhalla Wolf
Responsible for order in the tavern's surroundings: White Wolf
Responsible for hotel rooms: Arandor
Responsible for the kitchen and service: Silverfell
Responsible for listening to people peeing behind the wall: General Zet xDDD)))))))

He-he, with such a cool team, including two wolves, we have nothing to fear, especially since we need security for the surroundings, you know, to escort drunken elves home, otherwise they'll start shooting with their bows and throwing fireballs, and they'll burn down half the forest(((( The Zealots of Faith will arrive in a police van and shut down the tavern(((((

So, the nominations will continue as long as my imagination lasts; I usually come up with them 20 minutes before the announcement. Hey, Lock, don't you want to write a speech or host a chat session?

Added 26 minutes later
Tlyayayayaya, bugaga, the Torch brothers outdid us in their love for digging back in 1996)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
http://rash2949.by.ru/-/download.shtml?/mp3/nekr/nekr04.mp3

Bartender: Monarch

especially, we need protection of the surroundings, you know, escorting drunk elves home, otherwise they'll start shooting with their bows and throwing fireballs, and they'll burn down half the forest! The Zealots of Faith will arrive in a police carriage and shut down the tavern!(((((

*Approaching Alucard* Thank you for your trust :). The followers of Donar will take care of the forest :D. *Turning towards Sylvan* I didn't quite understand what you meant by the phrase "let's go" :D.

Well, you know... it's like, why stand around when it's time to fight? That's the deeper meaning of this phrase:)
The service will be top-notch! No one has managed to dodge when I spill beer on them yet! And Tony would be a better chef, offering high-end Italian cuisine.

Oh, you shouldn't have done that… leaving such people in charge of a tavern… especially the positions of bartender and musician. It’s quite something… although, let him play… maybe he’ll cause less trouble). And a sober bouncer is better than a drunk one anyway!)))
As for the cooks… there was some new guy here; maybe he can help Siever….

So, listen up: prices for rooms are going up, and I won’t even let some of you in anymore, because I’m afraid of what you might do… so keep sleeping under the tables. – *looks towards Exa and others*))))

P.S. Please vote for everyone who hasn’t already done so at /topic/at/164521/
Check page 3; it says which section each person applied to