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- Hmm... - Gen paused, contemplating the story, then took out a cigarette and lit it. - Ah, screw it, even if I get screwed over. Everything has its time, and this is it. Right? - He hands the cigarette to Hisoka. - Don't worry, it won't hurt you in one go, but it will dull your emotions a bit - not like alcohol, but in a way that benefits your mind and leads to a more adequate self-awareness. - He opens the window and smokes as much as possible in it. - So, yeah. This is definitely a mess, buddy, I agree. Not because you beat someone up or had feelings for a girl - that's actually normal. But it was wrong to promise something and then break it, that's not very manly. But you know... things happen in life, especially in extreme situations, and sometimes there's a reassessment of values. I don't want to comfort you or lull your conscience, but I would say that our desire for life comes from the gods and goddesses wanting to give us a sense of something we haven't done yet, but into which we could pour our strength for the common good. Maybe in your scenario, you have found that meaning that you would never have been able to feel before. Yes, the situation was bad, and you have some fault in it, but... maybe not as much as you think. In any case, you feel your guilt and remorse, and you are ready to channel them into something productive, and if that's the case, then you have a chance to save your soul, or at least mitigate the damage done. That would be fair to the universe. As for me, you probably want to hear some condemnation to further beat yourself up, but I won't do that. As long as you don't back down on us for some other intermediate goal, I won't bother you, but if that happens, we'll deal with it. But seeing how you're suffering, maybe that won't happen. Let's see if you've learned a lesson from what happened. If not, I'll remind you, - he releases a thick cloud of smoke into the Asuguh atmosphere. - If necessary, in a painful way. Remember one thing - by giving up, you will completely betray those who suffered from your actions. So it's better to persevere to the end.
- As for me... It's difficult to describe in a simple and concise way. Maybe I could say that it's half ambition and half a love for causing pain to those who deserve it, but that wouldn't be entirely true. Once, I was part of a group - old, hysterical women might call it a "gang" - and I was in charge of maintaining order on the most neglected streets of Ruzaniel - the places where the Protector's watchful eye doesn't always reach. That bully over there was one of us too, - he nods at Akimitsu. - We were, let's say, the city's unofficial militia. I lost my family early, and I had nowhere to go, you can figure out the rest. But in the end, we met a more or less predictable fate - many of us died due to unfortunate circumstances. They were great guys, Anuzish lost a lot by taking them away too soon... I even became their leader for a while. I always cared about the guys, and then I became even more focused on their well-being, which probably led us to a sad outcome. Apparently, not all of them wanted to have such a guardian angel in their lives... But I learned a lesson from my inexperience. In the end, I decided that the most ideal option for me would be to become the king of Sizok, replacing Issay Gassai, who was gradually losing his power. Well, why not? I'm a candidate from the people, a man of the city, I understand perfectly what the common people need, how to help them, and I have the desire to do so. But... a jerk showed up and killed me, and with me, my friends. I'm not kidding - a ruthless devil literally appeared out of nowhere and tore us to shreds. And the strangest thing is, we all came back to life unharmed. I honestly don't know what that phenomenon was, but I'll tell you one thing - it made me feel my powerlessness in that situation, my inability to protect myself or my friends. So I decided to look for strength where it was most possible. If I can train and beat that bastard, and in the process also serve Asuguh, then it's a win-win. But if not, then the training on Dlanor won't help me, except to annoy me with its formalism. Ah-ha-ha! Now that I've said it out loud, it seems so stupid. And Ako with him, what we have is what we have.
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Happy Life