Posts from ⚔️Serberia Auto-translated

“Oh, if this is a ‘simple’ question, I’m afraid to imagine what will follow,” the woman chuckled, “let it be autumn; there’s something calming about it. And similarly, yellow or orange, to match the colors of the leaves this season.”

“So, it’s autumn, right? Wonderful!” Ilva made another note. “Today, we have a very diverse survey on a wide range of topics, and therefore, I apologize in advance for the next, possibly personal, question. Do you have a loved one?”

– Yes, my husband.

“Excellent!” the girl nodded. “And finally, a little bit of politics, if you don’t mind: what is your opinion on a possible conflict between Roentahl and Serberia? And finally, what is your opinion of Her Majesty, the Queen?”

— War is unnecessary, and the queen... Let's just say she scares me.

“Is that so?” Ilva glanced briefly at her companion but decided not to pursue the matter further. “Well, thank you for your time! I wish your business prosperity! I will definitely recommend your store to my friends; they are big fans of firearms and related equipment.”
To the beauty salon.

— So, it’s a survey, right? — Ingrid Drahe, the salon owner, pondered. — And would you agree to a haircut then?… Ha-ha, I’m just kidding. Let me try to answer your questions if I can.

“A haircut?” Ilva instinctively tried to fix her hair, as if something was wrong with it. “Heh, I definitely plan to visit your establishment in the future, as a customer. As for the questions, thank you for agreeing! And don’t worry, just answer as you please, or don’t answer at all if you don’t feel like it.” *asks*

Throughout Alessia’s life, there had been quite a few events: sad, exciting, threatening, but never before had she been so nervous as before the beauty contest. “I should have thought twice before getting involved in this. Now, some… Paula von Tüche des Mondes will follow me, all made up, covered in gold and silk, with skin like ivory, and next to her, I’ll be in what is practically work clothes, thank the Artery, at least I managed to style my hair decently – hello, here comes a country bumpkin.” A minute later, she was thinking the opposite: that all the locals were dressed up and made up, but under the makeup, some had noses like potatoes, and others had crooked bites. In Illia, inbreeding must be common, and therefore, all sorts of deformities are also common. Now, they will come out, with no skin, so to speak, and no face – oh, Balr’s jargon! Alessia tried to get rid of it, but it was all in vain – but they will all be covered in makeup and jewelry from head to toe, and the jury will see through it all. Alessia looked in the mirror – her face was horizontally symmetrical, with a correct oval, her cheekbones were not too prominent, but noticeable, as befits an aristocrat… What could be against her if some cross-eyed, hunchbacked girl with a protruding lip, but noble in the hundredth generation, appears – nothing, even if they cast her entirely in gold. She seemed to have already imagined all possible scenarios, but Alessia was completely unprepared for what she had to see right before going on stage. The first one, not only wore a collar, forgetting her blouse at home, but also dressed in tight clothes with some idiotic straps, although layers of fat hang from her where the clothes don’t tighten her flabby body. Then – familiar faces. Kalentia is apparently hoping for her figure – although she looks more like a thoroughbred mare than a lady – all muscular in the right places, well-fed, she will probably not be shy about work and will produce many healthy offspring. However, many men, beasts by nature, are attracted to this, and her hopes are quite justified, but what on earth is that cow, Gulveig, hoping for? Probably, she is counting on the help of the Artery. Then, the third contestant “just came out of the forest, wearing only an underskirt, with the mimicry of a psychiatric hospital patient; the seventh contestant, a picture of “a board in black wrapping paper”; the tenth – an attempt to show a bust better than Kalentia’s, only the contestant is fatter than Gulveig… And what about the audience, the jury? Is that Anders who will be laughing later? Alessia barely managed to maintain a calm and serious expression on her face. Is she really in Illia? All sorts of riffraff are allowed to attend the event, half of the contestants are dressed-up milkmaids. All the nervousness disappeared as if by magic. If she loses, it will only be funny, but definitely not sad or humiliating.

— In my opinion, it’s hard to resist the beauty of spring, when warmth and bright colors of blooming nature return, replacing the cold and endless whiteness. Let’s say the color will be burgundy, and the rest… Well, let’s just say that the queen is a very strong character who deserves respect, but I don’t personally feel any sympathy for her. As for my personal life and my attitude towards war, I’ll refrain from commenting.

“That’s more than enough, thank you very much!” Ilva bowed gratefully and closed her notebook. “That’s all for now, I won’t bother you any further. Have a good day!” Stepping outside, she walked aimlessly for a few minutes, greedily inhaling the warm summer air. Then, finding a free bench, she allowed herself to rest for a moment. “Well…” the girl muttered to herself, massaging her cheeks with her fingers, which seemed frozen in a disturbing grimace of a good-natured smile. “If I keep working like this for a couple more days, they won’t even let me in the stores.” Quickly flipping through her notebook, filled with notes, Ilva discovered with disappointment that not much had been done for a complete survey. Making an effort and getting up from the bench, the girl headed towards “Etalon.” Perhaps she could meet someone with an interesting opinion there.

“You don’t look like a journalist,” Baroness Astrid von Blankenfels remarked upon learning about Ilva’s purpose for the visit, “professionals have smiles that are, you know, perfected over years of lying: they’re quite natural, but devoid of emotion, and yours is just fake and nervous. Alright, go ahead and ask your questions; I don’t have anything particularly important to do right now anyway.”

“Perhaps you are right,” Ilva conceded. “I haven’t undertaken such a task before. Although, to be honest, mastering the art of deception isn’t a skill I’m particularly eager to acquire… But I won’t waste your time with idle chatter about myself. Today’s survey can be roughly divided into two categories. Regarding politics, I’d be interested to hear your opinion on the escalating conflict between Serberia and Royental, as well as about Her Majesty. The personal section includes your favorite color, season, and whether you have a loved one.”

“Nothing brings profit like a war between major players, so I welcome such a conflict. Getting back to smiles, have you ever seen Her Majesty? In paintings or, perhaps, photographs?…” The Baroness waved her hand, deciding that the question wasn’t important for her answer. “Her smile is… well, it’s full of cynicism, but that clearly doesn’t match either her lifestyle or, even more so, the burden of the responsibilities she faces every day. In my opinion, only madness can hide behind such a smile. I wouldn’t want such an enemy, and certainly not an ally. What else did you have? Color, season, and favorite person… I have no preferences, but what about my husband? As they say, love is a cruel thing; you’ll love even a rabbit… After so many years of marriage, he’s running around some low-class casino. And it’s not even as if he’s going there for some material gain! He just wants to squander the family’s capital and gawk at dressed-up hussies… I wish some artery would burst in that Lalik’s head; he makes money out of thin air by preying on such fools.”

Hearing the name, which she had learned about from her brother's stories, Ilva listened to the baroness's answer with particular interest, trying not to miss anything. "This is... a very interesting and informative answer," the girl replied sincerely. "Thank you very much! And I... well, I hope things work out for you and your husband..." she added hesitantly. Enigma.