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I didn't rush with an answer because I couldn't decide until the very last moment whether to continue or not. Of course, regardless of the circumstances, I could force myself to do it, but this kind of attitude towards playing wouldn't bring the desired results and would hardly be a pleasant experience for anyone, and certainly not for me. I have probably become too old in spirit and weak in body for all this.
Anyway, my reasons don't excuse me, and I apologize for the wasted work, time spent, and (possible) unjustified expectations.