Auto-translated
Hehe) That way you can make a huge chain, maybe starting from age 5)
Well, let's begin...
If I hadn't gone to kindergarten (yes, yes, starting from as far back as I can remember), I wouldn't have learned to speak properly on time—I had speech problems and couldn't pronounce about 7 letters) Actually, I wouldn't have learned many other things in kindergarten either) Moreover, perhaps it was a downside—in kindergarten, I developed as a melancholic. It was precisely thanks to the knowledge (or rather, skills) gained in kindergarten that I would have entered a gymnasium instead of attending a regular school. The desire to stand out + withdrawal and melancholy led to me standing out through my studies—I did as much as possible, answered as often as possible—basically, I became a nerd) During those two years of primary school, before I got a console, I learned, among other things, how to think quite well (an extremely useful skill; from my observations, only one in ten people under the age of 18 possesses it at a proper level).
But then I got a console, the first Sega (this happened at the end of 2nd grade). I got seriously hooked. However, due to the cognitive skills I'd acquired, my grades didn't slip for a while) When my academic decline (in 3rd grade) became obvious, my parents started forbidding me from playing. Because of this, I actually argued with them quite often. Coupled with my withdrawn, melancholic nature, I simply sank into a depth of conflict, depression, and apathy.
It's unknown who I would have grown up to be if not for the tragedy: in 4th grade, my father was killed. This event forced me to think, and think seriously. I don't even know—this might seem extremely cynical—but in my opinion, this is exactly what saved me... because God only knows where I would have ended up.
With his death, I became more withdrawn. I had practically no friends, I didn't leave the house, but I studied diligently.
Until 6th grade, my life consisted of simple rote learning with rare bouts of playing the console. Until I stumbled upon my father's books.
Basically, his library consisted of about 60 percent historical literature. And most of it was military history. It happened during the holidays, so I got heavily absorbed—I had no other activities at the time by definition.
There weren't just dry archives; there was also a lot of fiction on military themes. Specifically, Soviet literature from the war and post-war periods (up to the 50s-60s).
Immersing myself in these military stories, I completely re-evaluated my "existence." First and foremost, I acquired something resembling a goal. I became more self-confident, tougher (and more cruel, if you will).
With all these newly acquired qualities, I entered seventh grade. I made friends, and looking back at that period, I noticed that they... I don't know... recognized me as a leader, I guess. They imitated me, were slightly afraid of me, shared their deepest secrets with me... I didn't even notice it then; I thought it was normal. But now it seems to me that it was exactly that.
My studies went steeply uphill. I was consumed by knowledge, and knowledge came much easier to me than before. This pushed my self-confidence to extreme heights.
Over those three years, I stopped being a melancholic and stopped being so inhibited.
In tenth grade, I took first place in the region for physics and mathematics. I managed to achieve nothing at the national level in Russia. Perhaps for the best. Because then my self-confidence would have led me to arrogance, or even a mania of grandeur. Losing at the national level cooled me down.
During the holidays before 11th grade, I earned money for a computer—not all of it, of course, but definitely about half; my parents gave me the rest. Since then, I began to actively explore the computer world. That's also when I discovered Heroes, specifically Heroes IV (that's the only one I played))
I entered Pacific State University to study physics. Studying there wasn't a particular problem for me either. Then, in my first year, I had the first girl in my life, and, to tell the truth, I fell in love for the first time (FOR THE FIRST TIME! I don't even know why, but before her, I hadn't felt love for any girl, not even a hint of love). Life was working out very successfully for me then.
In my second year, I got the internet. Basically, shortly after that, I registered here. I lived quite happily and regret nothing. I lived like that until the summer of '08.
Basically, that's when I disappeared) It all started with the eclipse in Altai on August 1st—I saw it, by the way. That summer I was vacationing in the mountains—hiking through Altai. And then life took a VERY sharp turn. Over those year and a half, life threw a bunch of different trials at me, sometimes so nightmarish that even now I sometimes break down in hysteria when I accidentally remember them.
But I managed to survive it all. The understanding of human nature I gained from my father's books helped a lot. And the awareness of my goal.
After everything that happened to me, I became more cynical and more... honest. First and foremost with myself. I became more cruel and more just. Although, it's not for me to judge my current qualities))
I don't even know what prompted me to write all this) I wanted to give some short, relatively harmless chain, but it all just flowed out. I probably needed to get it off my chest. Or answer a few questions. So please forgive me for dumping all this on you...
