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a Rastaman parable
Once, Ananda read too much Pelevin and felt such a strong desire to try cocaine that he couldn't resist! So, he visited Officer Kharikesh and begged him for a large bag of cocaine. Kharikesh himself had never tried cocaine, but he was also curious. They met at Ja-Buddha's place, and all the disciples came too, eager to sniff some cocaine. They offered some to Ja-Buddha, but he refused, saying he wasn't interested. Then all the disciples started making noise: "Ha, ha, Ja-Buddha is too scared to sniff cocaine!" Ja-Buddha replied, "You shouldn't chase after pleasures, but rather avoid suffering; and whoever chases after pleasures will not avoid suffering."
Then Kharikesh hinted to him, as a Kshatriya to a Kshatriya: "Listen, Ja-Buddha, is it really a manly thing to avoid suffering? You've never tried it, aren't you curious?" Ja-Buddha sighed heavily and said, "You've forgotten, Kharikesh, that I remember all my past lives, and it turns out that there is no such thing in the world that I haven't already experienced. And we've met before; you don't remember, but there were times in your life when you tried everything, but your curiosity wasn't satisfied."
Once upon a time, there was a curious prince. He lived, and then he grew up and became a curious king. He ruled his country from two to six, and after six, he had dinner, pretended to be ordinary, and went out among the people. He was curious about how people lived, what they drank, what they smoked, what they sniffed, what they used to get high, and what conversations they had. In other words, he just hung out. But his mother took care of all the state affairs, and she didn't approve of her son very much.
One day, the prince noticed a guy, a shaggy, bearded, dirty, lice-ridden man covered in scabs: he was sitting in the dust at the market, completely naked, but he had one thing that all the women were attracted to. Because it was twisted in a spiral, covered with bumps, and had something at the end that couldn't be described in a fairy tale or written down. And that's why no day passed without some woman taking him away with her. They gave him gold, incense, and expensive clothes - but he took all of that to the temple and sat back in the market, waving his instrument. He was a cool arhat.
Then, one of these women came to the prince during his office hours and said, "My husband is dead, allow me, as a decent woman, to burn with him on a pyre and fly to heaven." And the prince replied, "I won't allow it, and don't ask me why: you know it yourself." The woman blushed, and the mother took the prince aside and asked, "Why didn't you allow a good woman to fly to heaven?" And the prince said, "She's not a good woman at all; she got mixed up with the arhat who sits in the market, and I saw it all with my own eyes." Then the mother said, "Oh, son, you don't understand anything in life! She didn't get mixed up with anyone; she just satisfied her curiosity. And it's good for the temple, and it's easier for her, and it doesn't harm her husband." And the prince insisted, "I don't want to know anything; it's adultery; let her fly to heaven with her arhat." And the mother said, "Okay. Let it be adultery. But still, let her burn on the pyre, and I'll tell you in two weeks why you should do it."
Okay. The prince allowed this woman to burn on the pyre, and she burned like a candle. And two weeks later, he comes to his mother and says, "Well, what did you want to tell me?" Then the mother goes into the barn, brings out a goat, and says, "Cut off its head!" The prince took and cut off its head. Then she says, "Now sit on it." The prince sat on it, and it soared like a rocket, taking him to places the prince had never been.
And so he flies to a garden, where there is a sofa, a hookah, and a whole feast laid out. Well, the prince ate, smoked a couple of puffs from the hookah, and then a celestial fairy flew in and said, "Oh! A Kshatriya has arrived! And I'm sitting here, not knowing who to marry. And you flew here yourself. So now I'll marry you."
And she really did marry him. And the prince began to live with the celestial fairy. And every day she flies away somewhere, and leaves him in the garden: "Here, she says, everything is yours, use it all, but there are four doors here - don't open them, because there will be trouble." And as soon as she flew away, the prince opened the first door.
And there was a winged horse, and it said, "Well, prince, since you opened the door, let's go for a ride." And it took him through all the heavens, introduced him to all the gods, and let him try all the heavenly pleasures - in short, it was a great trip! It would take ten years to remember it all, and even then, you wouldn't remember everything.
He returns home - and the celestial fairy had already returned and discovered the violation. Well, she says, "Since you managed with the horse, you can use it further; but don't open the other doors, or there will be trouble!"
And as soon as she flew away the next day, the prince opened the second door. And there was a large, hunchbacked mole, and it said, "Now we're going to ride!" And don't even try to wriggle away - I'll definitely take you for a ride!" And the prince replied, "I'm not going to wriggle away - I didn't open the second door for nothing!" And, jumping boldly onto the mole's back, he sets off with it to the underworld.
Well, he experienced so many horrors and endured so many hardships there that no living soul knows about it. But he came out of there with honor, and just as he returned home, the fairy flew in. Well, she says, "Since you opened the second door and survived, there is no one stronger than you in the world. But look, don't open the other doors, or there will be trouble!"
Okay. On the third day, the prince took and opened the third door. And there was a donkey, and it said, "Well, guy, it seems that's your fate. Now I'll take you wherever I want." And the prince said to it, "You scared me! If you want, I'm interested in knowing what kind of terrible place you're going to take me to. I've already been in heaven and in hell, and I didn't find any trouble there." And with these words, he boldly jumps onto the donkey's back.
Then the donkey takes him to an ordinary barnyard and begins to wallow with him in a manure puddle. And after wallowing, it takes him to his hometown and drives him through all the streets so that everyone can see him, and finally takes him to the royal court. And there his mother stands and says, "Well, son, do you understand now?"
The prince replies, "What's not to understand? That you're a sorceress, I knew that before. That there are many interesting things in the world, I also guessed. But what's the connection with the woman we allowed to burn?"
And the mother says to him, "It's purely associative, son, purely associative. There are many prohibitions in the world, and many people break them: some for their own benefit, others out of stupidity, others out of spite, and still others simply out of curiosity. And the selfish will get their paradise, the stupid will get their hell, and the spiteful will get their manure puddle. The curious will wander through the heavens, burn in hellfire, and get covered in shit - but he won't find a place for himself anywhere. So he will live and be tormented by the question: what is behind the fourth door?"
Then Kharikesh couldn't stand it and asked Ja-Buddha, "But what was really behind the fourth door?" And Ja-Buddha smiled and replied, "There are four more doors. That is, in reality, there are no doors, but every time you open the last one, four more appear. And I'll tell you, as a Kshatriya to a Kshatriya: it's not a king's business to open doors with his nose. Let's just exchange this cocaine for ganja and have a good time."
